Bassets like beer.
Bassets can't talk.
Bassets don't shop.
Bassets never criticize.
Bassets never expect gifts.
Bassets love long car trips.
Bassets seldom outlive you.
Bassets think you sing great.
Bassets never want foot-rubs.
A basset's parents never visit.
Bassets don't hate their bodies.
Bassets don't worry about germs.
Bassets are excited by rough play.
Bassets enjoy heavy petting in public.
Anyone can get a good-looking Basset.
Bassets understand that letting gas is funny.
Bassets can appreciate excessive body hair.
Bassets don't care if you use their shampoo.
Bassets love it when your friends come over.
Bassets never need to examine the relationship.
If a basset is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Bassets don't borrow your shirts, well sometimes.
Bassets have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
It's legal to keep a basset chained up at your house.
Bassets don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Bassets don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Bassets will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
A basset's disposition stays the same all month long.
Bassets like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
The later you are, the more excited bassets are to see you.
Bassets don't expect you to call when you are running late.
Bassets don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
No basset ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
A basset's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Bassets don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Bassets understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Bassets agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
You never have to wait for a basset, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
Bassets understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
Bassets would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
When a basset gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can have it put to sleep.
Bassets like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Author Roy
Dear Lord,
So far today, Lord, I've done all right. I haven't barked, haven't lost my temper, or haven't been grumpy, nasty, made a mistake on the floor, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed. And from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen
Why Bassets Won't Use a Computer
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Last Updated August 4, 1998 by Shelby